just gonna empty out my brain

so if u want to read this fine hope you understand.
i dislike how still people lie to me unless theyve been lying to be all this time
why is it that someones closest friend call you a pothead and u tell me your not? do they know you better than me? ugh this is so dumb like who to believe i always believed you but now idk maybe they do know u better than me. i dont understand why ppl smoke soo much? like just sitting down smokin with ure "friends" thats so retarded like their is nothing wrong with once in a while smokin but god dam dude everyday its smokin drinkin or both. like i dont understand ive told a lot of ppl i love to watch out with that i have een how much it can fuck up someones life and their family and people still dont listen? like if i dont care about them like idk dude. anyways i dont understand why ppl try soooo effin hard on someone i see it everyday everywhere i do it too. i dont understand if the guy doesnt like you HE DOESnt LIKE YOU i hate seeing girls hurt but god dam dude i wish i could go into their brains but who am i kidding im pretty sure someone wants to probably go into my brain too. i just am soo effin confused about everythin i swear if im being used again im gonna shoot myslef for being soo stupid i wish i could just be told i dont want to go out withu again maybe that way i would get a clue about what to do. another thing on my mind is how fake people are your my friend one day the next you think you are soo much better than me fuck dude like all of a sudden u dont talk to me ugh what type of crap is that ;/ thats it for now i need to go blow my nose

eemm eeem:)

well back to school how wack
good thing tommorow is a short day yaya!:)
soo i really really need a car and i figured out this weekend i want an altima an black :) i mean my dream car has always been a bmw BUTTTTTTT no money for that lol
im really procrastinating in yearbook or maybe im just not interested in doing the soccer page CUZ I REALLY AM NOT!
oh well:/ i think i need a new phone my camera is being wakk in it
soo in like a month imam be 18 im soo excited i finally can get my piercing:)
yay<3

so i didnt get any type of message on valentines day and to think that i would at least get a text message ;/ dang man i thought i wasnt those girls that are dillusional thinking that he would come after work or sshow up randomly
wow i couldnt be any more wrong. so i guess that movie was right if he likes you hell tell you and show you. if not hes just not innto you. so i guess i jjust shouldnt wait patiently anymore thinking that im gona look outside my window and see him there.

goodbye<3

4 day weekend

thaNKs to the man above!:)
well im glad i got to eat candy today
thank you to all the people that gave me something:)
i really wanted a chocolate cover strawberry lol
well school is nothig more but a drag to me now senioritis is hitting me like a school bus infront of a blind cat idk if that made sense but oh well.
7th period isnt that bad or maybe its just the beggining
well tommorow bright and earl movies and then hopefully some mariscos
yay:)

goodbye!<3
xoxo

burn

tell me what to do? should i stay or should i just let go. all this pain and all the nights i cry are not helping. i see know that you will never fight for me you will never show me that i mean a part of your life. it hurts so bad but its the truth ive fought for you. put up with everyones shit about how your not worth it. but to me it seems like you are worth it. but idk for what you dont love me you dont wipe my tears away. these butterflies in my stomach are sad like me because they dont have a reason to fly around;/ why is this soooooooo fuckin easy to you. and to me i have to hide it sooo much so no one sees how much its hurting me. already your callin another girl babes i cant believe i was actually going to take you out to dinner for your bday but what do u do you dont even invite me or talk to me the whole day why the fuck do u only talk to me at night when u have no one to talk to im fuckin tired of this

so today would have been 2 yrs nd 6 months what a fuckiin trip;/
i had so many things planned i was gonna takehim out to eat yesterday since i knew he wouldnt want to miss the superbowl. i was gonna buy him a new guitar and sticks for guitar hero
how stupid can i be?
im glad no one really reads these blogs that way i cAN express myself my thoguhts that i try to say but i dont.