i hate love

please god make me be strong never have i felt this way for someone and to see it go to waste is hurting every piece of me shouldnt i be happy that i made csf? shouldnt i be happy that im doing goood at work? but no IM SO FUCKIN UNHAPPY AND for what? for a guy that is to busy not noticing what he had and unfortunately what he still has cuz i cant let him go even though were over. just now my mom asked me why are you always so sad now. and its so true i cant hide it anymore i cant im killing myself cuz i cant stop thinking about it. fuck dude i give everything for him and to him i seem like nothing. he gets mad cuz i say he doesnt miss me. is he missed me why doesnt he say it out loud why does he talk to so many girls why does he only text me wen hes bored? is that who i am now just someone to kill your boredom? idk how many more hours i can take this sadness and to not even be able to cry cuz then my mom asks questions i cant let go of anything. FUCK DUDE . it was easier the first time but now its so hard how can i make him fuckin miss me if im there like a dumbass? i know i dont deserve this but whats new something always happens to me no one ever stays in my life everyone always leaves uhh